Endings

What is left of my classroom now sits in my garage. Despite the fact that I gave away tons of stuff to fellow teachers, I still have enough left to fill up half a parking spot in our garage. As I stare at the remnants of the last 4 years of my life, it's a little depressing. Staring at it doesn't show anyone all the hard work I've put into my job, all the children's lives I've influenced- whether good or bad.

I never received an award, a certificate, and I was rarely complimented. I was never even Teacher of the Year but gosh I tried hard. I hope that counts for something in the grand scheme of things. I hope my students left me with more knowledge than they came with, as better people, and that they didn't remain stagnant.

Now I've stepped into a dark room and I have no idea what the future holds. I don't know how much I will be tutoring. I don't know if I will need to substitute as well. I don't know if we will be able to afford health insurance. And to top of it, I don't know if we will have a home to live in since my eldest brother is turning all prodigal son and wants to buy the house so my dad can retire. He's lousy with money but there's always that slim chance that he may actually be responsible with his VA & Social Security check and buy it (yes the govt is going to give him that much money for doing NOTHING).

Right now this dark room is very scary and I am hoping that I can find that light switch soon before I trip and fall on my face. Hopefully when I flip it on there will be lots of balloons, cake, ice cream, etc. and I can stop being Mrs. Pessimistic and start celebrating this ending instead (like everyone expects me to). Cross your fingers and say some prayers for me because I'm sure hoping for less stress and more happiness in my future.