Seriously Steven!?

Dear CPS,

I swear I didn't do it. My child just has this innate ability to turn common household objects into very dangerous things. As seen in a previous post a couch became a diving board that left him with a black eye. Today a piano bench became a rocky mountain that when slipped from, created one very fat lip. We hope that these risky, somewhat suicidal behaviors will end soon but we are not too hopeful. After all his mother at the ripe age of twenty five, thought that a bathroom floor could become a slip and slide and landed her knee right into the toilet. Yes, it certainly runs in the family. We just hope you will allow to stay, one big, happy, clumsy family. Thanks so much.

Steven's Mother