1) Tell them that there will be a 20 minute wait and then have them wait 45 minutes.
2) Give their clumsy mother a cup that does not have a lid and inevitably get spilled on the table.
3) Give clumsy mother's wiggly, already tired of waiting, toddler a paper cup that is not straw proof. No surprise that he easily pushes the straw through its side.
4) Allow 15 minutes to pass before coming to take your customers' orders.
5) Bring the child's ice cream out before the appetizer therefore defeating the purpose of the "entertainment" it was supposed to provide while child's parents tried to eat.
6) Allow foolish parent to put their 10 month old in a high chair that is much to big for him. Don't be surprised if you come back and see parent's sighing in relief after having just saved their poor child from falling to his doom through the leg hole.
7) Keep a steak knife somewhere close by the toddler so that when parent's turn around to see what he's up to they will find themselves being threatened by it.
8) After an hour and half has passed since your customer has arrived, now you may bring them their appetizers (and shortly after their entrées). This will also ensure that they will get to listen to the amazingly screechy voices of Karaoke Night.
9) Serve another glass of water to this dangerous table which inevitably ends up in mother's lap (Yes that will make 3 spilled waters).
10) After 2 hours have passed and the toddler is sneaking under the table and attempting escape and the baby is asleep on the bench leaving clumsy mother scrunched against the window then you may give them their bill and call it a night. You can consider that customer lost as you hear them muttering obscenities on their way out.
No comments:
Post a Comment