So just because I am a complainer, I would like to complain about a little thing called pregnancy weight gain. I feel like lately the belly has gotten much too big and I feel really ugly. That sounds stupid, I know, but I do. I just feel so blah lately. I got a haircut today which helped some but I'm thinking maybe I need some new shirts that don't make me look so fat or shirts that don't show off my lovely, outie belly button. Too bad with holiday expenses, and Tyler & I wanting to get away for our honeymoon (all the way away to Flagstaff) I really can't spend money on shirts (not without feeling guilty). Oh well, maybe Santa will buy me some (hint, hint Tyler).Also, been thinking a lot about next year and once again I think I am chickening out on quitting my job. I start off strong and firm thinking yes I will quit. I will force Tyler to step up and find a better job. I also start out with the faith that because we pay our tithing everything will be Ok. Yes that's how I start out and then I begin to freak out. I begin to think I could be ruining us by quitting. That we may not be able to take care of our child (soon to be children) if I quit. That Tyler will drop out of school if I quit. That I will be more stressed due to finances if I quit. What if Tyler doesn't find a better job??? Ugh! I wish I could remain faithful that everything will be Ok but my faith wavers. I want so bad to be a stay at home mom but I am so scared to loose that income. I just feel like I'm danged if I work and danged if I don't. It's a lousy place to be...Hate it!
On a happier note (after all that negativeness), today I made chocolate covered pretzels for the neighbors with my mom and that was fun. We tried using her "billy" (a double boiler) but for some reason it was not being successful. We added milk and vegetable oil thinking that would help, only to read on the label that we should NOT do that. Then we ended up just microwaving the chocolate and for some reason that was a lot more successful. Wow, we made a mess but I quite enjoyed it. I think they turned out OK in the end and I hope the neighbors enjoy.
Another happy thing- Winter Vacation is almost here!!! I am so excited for the much needed break. SO EXCITED!!! Steven is getting to be less of a tantrum thrower and much more fun. I love how much he is getting into Christmas. He loves lights and trees and Santa ("ooo, ooo, ooo"). I can't wait until I can really enjoy all that with him and thankfully I only have to push through 4 more days of work! Oh happy day!
2 comments:
I know exactly how you feel. I hope things turn out for you guys. Love you!
Aah! Stephen's so cute! Love the hair. All women feel so blah when they're pregnant...it's just something you gotta expect and endure. Consider my old maternity clothes yours for the duration of your pregnancy. I'll drop them off sometime soon this week. There's some cute "I love maternity clothes!" stuff, some "why did my Mom buy me this" stuff, and some, "so glad I can get rid of this when this baby's outta me" stuff. I won't be offended if you don't want any of it, but it's nice to shake things up in the wardrobe dept. when you're preggo.
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